Daddy

Last night on Face Book there was a post about my dad. One of my cousins had made a post of a picture montage set to music. It had pictures of my dad I had never seen set to music and the music it was set to was one that my dad would have loved. It was an old time country song and it and the pictures made me cry. I couldn't help myself and watched it over and over and every time I saw it it made me cry more and more.

So today I'm sitting here missing my dad even more. I didn't sleep to well last night because I had dreams of my dad. We were in TX and I was chasing him to talk to him but the more I ran towards him the further away he got. I'm thinking now that it was his way of saying maybe I need to let go and let him go to his final reward. I truly feel he has gone to heaven to be with his mother, father and young son that died way to early in his life. I also believe he's there with my youngest sister's baby that died at 6 weeks.

So Dad here is me trying to let go. I'm going to say good bye for the last time today. I will never forget you even though I hadn't seen you in about 6 years. There was a time I hadn't seen you since I was 6 and then saw you when I was 24. Then again I didn't see you for a few years until I moved to Florida to stay with you. Then there was another gap of over 20 years neither one of us was in touch either because I didn't have your number or you didn't have mine. But in the past few years we had kept in touch by calling every week. I may not have know what was going on day by day but I felt I knew you very well. You had a quirkey sense of humor that a lot of people didn't get. Lord knows some of our family didn't. But it made me love you more. You could always find humor in what ever situation you got into. I remember getting off the phone sometimes a just laughing till I cried. Most of the stuff you told me that was funny I ended up passing on to my friends. I especially liked what you said you wanted done when you died. Even though one of my sisters told me never to repeat that I told people about it and it did help me to think about that when you passed.

Today is a busy day so I'm going to stop now. I don't want to be crying when I go grocery shopping. I will always remember you and never stop loving you. Your stories will keep me going for now. I'm trying to get others who knew you better to send me some of their favorite stories of you so I can put together a memory book of you to pass on to my kids. I think it will help them understand where I got my sense of humor from.

So in closing Dad. I love you and miss you. I hope your not mad at me for not calling that last month that you were alive. I was just so wrapped up in dealing with my sister that it never crossed my mind that I may never talk to you again. I'm so sorry for that. Be in peace and take care of others that are there with you. Bye.