I'm not sure how to start this post. Other than to explain that last night was on of the worst nights sleep I've had in months. I went to bed early because I couldn't keep my eyes open and I didn't have to stay up for any reason. I also set it in my mind since I didn't have anything on my schedule for today I was going to sleep in past my normal wake up time of 6:30 AM. This was going to be a treat to myself but my body had other things in mind.
Let me explain that I have sleep apnea and use a C-PAP machine at night. Most nights I sleep like the dead and wake up still tired but after I get going in the morning I wake up somewhat and can make it through the day some what awake. I take something to help me wake up in the morning and take something in the afternoon to keep me awake. I drink 8 cups of coffee in the morning to help wake me up and I deal with a lot of pain till the morning meds kick in and lower my pain level. I wake up with a pain level of 8-10 and by the time my meds kick in it drops to a 5 or 6. I'm never without some sort of pain and there are days that I sit here and cry.
Last night was different. I went to sleep around 9:15 only to be awoken at 1:15 with terrible stomach pains. Pain so bad I couldn't lay down on my back or side and go back to sleep. This wasn't my normal pain this was caused by the C-PAP pushing air into my stomach and it getting into my intestines. I was doubled over in pain when I went into the bathroom to pee and kept belching air. There was also air so deep inside me that no matter what I did I couldn't get it to pass and that caused more pain. Try running a hot poker through your insides and that won't even come close to the pain I was feeling. So I got up and sat on the couch crying and waiting for the air to pass further through my system so I could go back to sleep. I turned on the TV and tried to forget the pain and watch what I had DVRed. After about 30 minutes the pain had subsided enough and my eyes wouldn't stay open so I crawled back into bed somewhere after 2AM. I fell back to sleep immediately and slept till once again I was woken up with terrible pain. So here I sit at 8:15 in the morning waiting for things to pass though or come up doubled over in pain. I feel it passing through but it's not moving fast enough for me. I feel like crap and there are things I want to get done today but I'm not sure how much I'm going to get done.
Needless to say because of the pain I didn't get the good sleep I wanted and needed because of pain and on top of all the pain from my stomach I still have to deal with my normal wake up pain.
Oh and I forgot to take my morning meds when I first got up and now it's going to be even longer till my normal pain subsides.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
End of Summer
Well we're into September now. That means the end of Summer. What a depressing time this is starting to be for me. I don't like fall and winter as it gets cold and then there is the snow to deal with. I don't do well with cold weather with my Fibromyalgia and every year I wish I could move to a warmer climate to wait out the winter. I know I'll never have the money or resourses to own or rent a place in the warmer weather in the winter and a place up here for summer so I'm looking into moving somewhere where I have a little family around and it's warm year round. I know that it may end up being real hot in the summer just so it's warm in the winter and if that's the way I have to have it I'll deal with it the best I can. The most important thing is NO SNOW or real cold weather in the cold part of the year. There has to be a place here in the US where it's not to hot in the summer and not to cold in the winter.
I was going to move to Corpus Christy to be near my dad till he died. That broke my heart and here after a year I'm still grieving over his loss. I still want to move to TX as I have family there but not on the coast but inland. I'd like to live on the Gulf but don't know about the humidity that comes with living there. I think I'd do better where it's dryer so that means inland. I have never met most of my cousins face to face. Sure there was that time when I was 24 that I met most of my Aunt Peggy's kids but I don't remember most of them and I don't think they remember me. I was only there for about 3 weeks and didn't spend a lot of time socializing with much of anyone. I did go out to Lake Waco and spend a day on a rubber raft sunburning myself in an over night trip, then spent the next week or so crying because I'd given myself second degree burns over 95% of my body. I mean between my toes, up my nose, my eyelids and in my ears. I had on an itty bitty teney tiny bikini and did it to myself. I decided to coat myself with baby oil and float around the lake on a clear rubber raft. My fault. I knew I burned easy and shouldn't have stayed out there all day but I was avoiding "family". When I got back to my grandmothers and dads place in Waco later the next day all I could do was try and get comfortable and that wasn't easy. Let me tell you I peeled 4 times before I left TX and when I got off the bus in Florida the driver told me what a beautiful Florida tan I had and I told him yeah I got it in TX and walked away. I have never let myself get that burned again. Now I am photosensitive because of some of the medications I take so I don't stay out in the sun for very long. Long enough to get some vitamin D but not much more. I would rather get my sunlight through the windows than actually going out in it.
To get back to TX and family. I wish I knew that side of the family better. I know I have cousins around the same age as me. I have at least one male cousin and a female one who were born around the same time as me. I have become FB friends with them but we don't really talk. We just pass things back and forth on the computer. I have never had a real conversation with any of them. I'd love to get to know them better but don't know how to start. I'm not good at stuff like that. I can ramble on about nothing (as you can tell) for a long time and never let anyone know what I really want to know or tell them anything important.
I think I've rambled enough today so I'm going to end this the way I started. Summer is over and I'm bummed. I am not looking forward to colder weather and all the things that go with it. I don't want to freeze my ass off again in this crappy apartment again this year.
I was going to move to Corpus Christy to be near my dad till he died. That broke my heart and here after a year I'm still grieving over his loss. I still want to move to TX as I have family there but not on the coast but inland. I'd like to live on the Gulf but don't know about the humidity that comes with living there. I think I'd do better where it's dryer so that means inland. I have never met most of my cousins face to face. Sure there was that time when I was 24 that I met most of my Aunt Peggy's kids but I don't remember most of them and I don't think they remember me. I was only there for about 3 weeks and didn't spend a lot of time socializing with much of anyone. I did go out to Lake Waco and spend a day on a rubber raft sunburning myself in an over night trip, then spent the next week or so crying because I'd given myself second degree burns over 95% of my body. I mean between my toes, up my nose, my eyelids and in my ears. I had on an itty bitty teney tiny bikini and did it to myself. I decided to coat myself with baby oil and float around the lake on a clear rubber raft. My fault. I knew I burned easy and shouldn't have stayed out there all day but I was avoiding "family". When I got back to my grandmothers and dads place in Waco later the next day all I could do was try and get comfortable and that wasn't easy. Let me tell you I peeled 4 times before I left TX and when I got off the bus in Florida the driver told me what a beautiful Florida tan I had and I told him yeah I got it in TX and walked away. I have never let myself get that burned again. Now I am photosensitive because of some of the medications I take so I don't stay out in the sun for very long. Long enough to get some vitamin D but not much more. I would rather get my sunlight through the windows than actually going out in it.
To get back to TX and family. I wish I knew that side of the family better. I know I have cousins around the same age as me. I have at least one male cousin and a female one who were born around the same time as me. I have become FB friends with them but we don't really talk. We just pass things back and forth on the computer. I have never had a real conversation with any of them. I'd love to get to know them better but don't know how to start. I'm not good at stuff like that. I can ramble on about nothing (as you can tell) for a long time and never let anyone know what I really want to know or tell them anything important.
I think I've rambled enough today so I'm going to end this the way I started. Summer is over and I'm bummed. I am not looking forward to colder weather and all the things that go with it. I don't want to freeze my ass off again in this crappy apartment again this year.
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