Here are some highlights of what happened after my vacation.
While riding the train home I got talking to a woman in a wheelchair who was sitting in the handicapped section of the train like me. After hearing her story about being homeless in California and the fact that she was looking for a change and decided to come east to Maine, having to wait 24 hours in Boston's South Station to wait to catch a bus/train to Maine I felt sorry for her and invited her home with me. I didn't check with my ride first and that was wrong of me. I brought this woman home and for the most part for a week things went relatively well. She was up a lot in the middle of the night which in turn woke me up and I was very tired for days. Yesterday morning she woke me up at 2 AM ranting and raving about something and I wasn't able to get back to sleep. The night before we had a thunder storm that knocked out the cable, internet and telephone and when she said she wanted to leave RIGHT then I took my cell phone outside to make a call to get a cab. There wasn't anyone on duty to drive a handicapped van at that time of the morning so I told the cab company that I would call later in the day if I still needed them. I also called the cable company to find out when the cable would be coming back on and of course I got shined on about that. I did tell them however that I wanted a credit for the day that I didn't have my services.
I managed to talk my house guest into staying till later in the morning and thought about trying to go back to sleep but knew it was useless so I just stayed up and got some house cleaning done that needed to be done. I got the whole kitchen cleaned, dishes washed and the dishwasher run which made me feel much better.
To make a long story short my house guest left around 10:30 yesterday morning to go to the train station to catch a train to who knows where. She has a ticket that will take her out of Union Station in Worcester today on the 12:57PM train into Chicago. I am in a way relieved she is gone but worry on the other hand what will happen to her in the 26 hours till she can catch the train out.
I managed to find someone who would be able to sit here while I took a shower yesterday. That was quite a chore to do and was even more tired after I took it than I was before. After getting dressed I came out to sit on the couch to watch TV with my friend and fell through the couch onto the floor. Yes folks I was sitting there with my legs up over my head! It is funny so go ahead and laugh at this time. Thank goodness my friend was able to help me get out of their but it kind of looked like a three stooges movie doing it. I had some extra shelving for my DVD cabinet and am using that to hold me up right now. I need to get to Southbridge to pick up a futon frame that I've been waiting 2 months to have brought to me. I have come to realize that if I wait for them to bring it my couch will fall apart completely before I get it.
I forgot to take my meds last night for some reason when my alarm for it went off and only remembered when it was time to go to bed. I kept wondering why I didn't feel tired and then it hit me. So I took them 2 hours later than usual so this morning I'm dragging butt because the meds are still in my system and since I got up at my usual time I'm still tired.
I'm praying that the day gets better. It's dark, damp and all around a crappy day and all I really want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep but there is to much that needs to be done around the house if I have the energy to do it. I'm going to play it by ear and see how the day goes from here.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Visiting Family
Once again this year I found myself visiting my sister on our birthday. It's kind of funny that for so many years I hated the fact that I didn't have a birthday to myself but now that I'm in my 50's I think it's kind of special that I can share my birthday with my first birthday present.
It's nice to get away from my apartment and I love taking the train out here to where my sister lives but it has been a trying week so far. My sister isn't a great hostess to start with then you throw in the other stress in her life and it's almost been hell. I don't totally blame her but she could have made things a little better for me.
I don't seem to be able to do anything right in her eyes. If I say I can't do something she gets this look on her face and practically screams "YES YOU CAN. You just don't want to." Well maybe some of the time it is I don't want to but I do have my limitations and she can't seem to except that I know what they are and don't like to push them to far. I have a lot of physical pain and even when I don't push I'm still in a lot of pain. She won't let me just sit and enjoy the world passing by me. I'm expected to be ready to jump when ever she wants to do something whether or not I want to do it.
I love my sister but this may be the last year I come out here to spend our birthday together. Not only did she get on my nerves this trip but she's having problems in her marriage and she has been a bitch with her husband. I know not everyone gets along after 25 years but geesh don't have a full melt down in front of company over the little shit. She said last night if I didn't want to see it to go somewhere else but there isn't anywhere else to go that I can escape what's going on here without getting on a train and coming back home. Believe me there has been a few times in the past few days when I wish I could just hitch hike back up to the train station and wait till the next train heading east comes in. Unfortunately I don't have the money it would take to change my departure date to leave earlier. I am going home on the 16th which is this Thursday and I do believe her husband is going to be very surprised that he's the one who is going to have to take me up to the train depot at 03:00 in the morning to catch the train. I feel bad that he's going to have to do that because it's almost an hours drive up to the train station and then another hour back home and he'll have to go to work that morning as well. I really don't think my sister will haul her fat butt out of bed at 1:30 AM to get me up there in time for the train. Why should I expect her to do that when she hasn't done anything that anyone else has wanted to do the whole time I've been here. I don't even suggest doing things anymore because they just get shot down.
It's been cold here the last couple of days and that just makes me hurt even more. I just want to sit somewhere where it's warm and let that soak into my bones and let it loosen up the muscles. I am going to get into the shower today but even that has a time limit on it AND I can't let the water just run over me while I'm washing my hair as she has to pay for water and it's a waste of water to do that. I don't have to pay for water at home, or heat for that matter so it doesn't matter if I crank the heat and let the water run for an hour if I'm in the mood for that. Here I have 20 minutes in the shower to wash my long hair and bigger than I want body and then get out. Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time to get warmed up before she's banging on the door for me to get out. Then if I take to long drying off and getting dressed she's banging on the bathroom door for me to hurry up and get out because she has to go. There is another half bath/laundry room downstairs that she can use but won't unless she's already down there.
I just needed to let off some steam here today. I love my sister to death and know she would do anything for me at any time. I would do the same for her. It's just been very tense here the past week and that makes me anxious and that in turn makes me take pills for anxiety and pain. I clench up and it causes the pain to get worse. So now I'm done with my bitch session and I'm going to crochet in front of the living room window where the sun comes in to try and warm up a little before I go take a shower. My sister has been down, had a bowl of cereal, saw that the show on BBC is a repeat and gone back upstairs to bed. The half and half for the coffee went bad, seemingly over night and she won't touch coffee without it so she'll be sleepy till she gets her butt in gear to go out for some. I just hope I'm ready to go when she is because she won't wait for me.
It's nice to get away from my apartment and I love taking the train out here to where my sister lives but it has been a trying week so far. My sister isn't a great hostess to start with then you throw in the other stress in her life and it's almost been hell. I don't totally blame her but she could have made things a little better for me.
I don't seem to be able to do anything right in her eyes. If I say I can't do something she gets this look on her face and practically screams "YES YOU CAN. You just don't want to." Well maybe some of the time it is I don't want to but I do have my limitations and she can't seem to except that I know what they are and don't like to push them to far. I have a lot of physical pain and even when I don't push I'm still in a lot of pain. She won't let me just sit and enjoy the world passing by me. I'm expected to be ready to jump when ever she wants to do something whether or not I want to do it.
I love my sister but this may be the last year I come out here to spend our birthday together. Not only did she get on my nerves this trip but she's having problems in her marriage and she has been a bitch with her husband. I know not everyone gets along after 25 years but geesh don't have a full melt down in front of company over the little shit. She said last night if I didn't want to see it to go somewhere else but there isn't anywhere else to go that I can escape what's going on here without getting on a train and coming back home. Believe me there has been a few times in the past few days when I wish I could just hitch hike back up to the train station and wait till the next train heading east comes in. Unfortunately I don't have the money it would take to change my departure date to leave earlier. I am going home on the 16th which is this Thursday and I do believe her husband is going to be very surprised that he's the one who is going to have to take me up to the train depot at 03:00 in the morning to catch the train. I feel bad that he's going to have to do that because it's almost an hours drive up to the train station and then another hour back home and he'll have to go to work that morning as well. I really don't think my sister will haul her fat butt out of bed at 1:30 AM to get me up there in time for the train. Why should I expect her to do that when she hasn't done anything that anyone else has wanted to do the whole time I've been here. I don't even suggest doing things anymore because they just get shot down.
It's been cold here the last couple of days and that just makes me hurt even more. I just want to sit somewhere where it's warm and let that soak into my bones and let it loosen up the muscles. I am going to get into the shower today but even that has a time limit on it AND I can't let the water just run over me while I'm washing my hair as she has to pay for water and it's a waste of water to do that. I don't have to pay for water at home, or heat for that matter so it doesn't matter if I crank the heat and let the water run for an hour if I'm in the mood for that. Here I have 20 minutes in the shower to wash my long hair and bigger than I want body and then get out. Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time to get warmed up before she's banging on the door for me to get out. Then if I take to long drying off and getting dressed she's banging on the bathroom door for me to hurry up and get out because she has to go. There is another half bath/laundry room downstairs that she can use but won't unless she's already down there.
I just needed to let off some steam here today. I love my sister to death and know she would do anything for me at any time. I would do the same for her. It's just been very tense here the past week and that makes me anxious and that in turn makes me take pills for anxiety and pain. I clench up and it causes the pain to get worse. So now I'm done with my bitch session and I'm going to crochet in front of the living room window where the sun comes in to try and warm up a little before I go take a shower. My sister has been down, had a bowl of cereal, saw that the show on BBC is a repeat and gone back upstairs to bed. The half and half for the coffee went bad, seemingly over night and she won't touch coffee without it so she'll be sleepy till she gets her butt in gear to go out for some. I just hope I'm ready to go when she is because she won't wait for me.
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