Starting everything

Just today I read 2 blogs by my niece and a wonderful woman I know at church. It inspired me to start one of my own.

To start with I am a 51(almost) year old woman living in a dinky one bedroom apartment with my children on the weekends and 2 cats all the time. And most evenings one of my best friends Mike. When I asked him tonight if I should write my own blog he told me go for it so here I am.

My birthday is coming up in 6 days and I'm going on a trip to see my year younger sister in Ohio. She has to have surgery and I opened my mouth and said I'd come out to take care of her while she's recuperating. I really want to do this for her but it's caused me a lot of stress just thinking about it. I have to tell you first that I am Bi-Polor and have massive anxiety. I have also developed a mild case of agoraphobia in the past 2 years after having a car accident that kept me in my second floor apartment because I couldn't climb the stairs. I eventually ended up moving to a first floor apartment but still didn't get out.

I love my sister, don't get me wrong, but she wants me to follow a lot of rules when I'm out there. Like NO TV during the day. NO downloading programs that I watch at home and can watch on the internet as she can only download a certain about of stuff. (don't understand that unless she has a wireless card from her mobile phone company) and I have to exercise.

First of all I spend most of my day in front of the TV. I live for my DVR'ed programs. I hate commercials and don't watch anything live unless it's on one of the premium channels that doesn't have commercials except at the end of the programs that I can just turn off. I don't think I have enough room on the DVR disc to record everything I want for the month and wanted to watch a lot of my programs while I was out visiting my sister. I didn't think she would mind as the last time I was out there I spent a lot of time reading while she was taking naps or just ignoring the fact that both my oldest son and I were there. I know she was under a lot of stress and was working a little at that time but felt she could have spent a little more time with us. Of course it was 3 or 4 years ago and a lot has happened since then.

I don't exercise because of a severe back problem. I have bulging discs and it puts a lot of pressure on the nerves in my legs so after walking for a very short time I end up not being able to move. Then when I get to where I can sit my back spasms. I'm on medication for the pain and a muscle relaxer but sometimes they just don't work. I'm afraid that once I get out there she won't let me rest. She also said said she was going to enroll me in a SENIORS exercise program. I'm not old enough for that I feel. It probably wouldn't hurt me to do it but seriously SENIORS? Get me in a pool and I'm fine. I was doing water PT but had to stop because I had surgery back in February and still haven't healed all the way. Then I started doing what they called Land PT and got vertigo and had to stop that. A lot of bad things the end of the winter. I do plan on starting water PT again and then go to after care (at an extra cost of $185.00 for unlimited use) when I can.

I'm actually hoping that when I get out to my sisters I can lose weight and get healthy by doing what she wants me to. The problem is getting out there. I have appointments all this week and I leave on Friday. On Monday I have to go see about getting a Section 8 50 miles from my home. I had to change an appointment with my PCP that I already had to another day. On Tuesday I have 2 appointments. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. I'm hoping that the transportation the state had set up for me shows up on time to pick me but and bring me home but I'm not holding my breath. On Wednesday my home health aide comes then in the afternoon I have a doctors appointment and on Thursday I have to go shopping for taxable. Oh ya, I have to start packing to see if I need to get a bigger suitcase before Thursday. I have a lot of things to take with me that aren't cloths like my C-Pap machine, my med box and pillow. Then there is the Nook, computer (which I'm going back an forth about bringing) test kit for blood sugar and a bag of food stuff for on the train. I can check 2 bags through and carry on 2 including my pocketbook. Lots of stuff to figure out what I"m bringing. My sister has already said not to bring to much cloths as she has a lot to get rid of and wants me to make some while I'm out there. (another stresser as me and sewing machines don't really get along) I'm going to give it a try though.

Mike has graciously said he would move into my apartment to watch the cats and take care of the one plant I have left. He's also said my oldest son could come and stay on weekends. My youngest son I won't get visitation with till I get back. (2 different dads so different visitation decrees) I'm hoping that I come back to a half way clean house as the home health agency is discharging me on Wednesday and won't put the paper work to readmit me till I'm home so there won't be anyone coming in to do what needs to be done for 3 weeks after I get home. I can't run the vacuum and do the dishes so I'm afraid of what I"ll find. I trust Mike but my son I know is a slop.

I'll write more as the week goes on then if I take my computer with me I'll write while I'm at my sisters.
All in all I need a lot of luck and prayers.
Thanks