Monday's suck

Monday is here. And I hate it. I keep wishing that the weekend would last longer but when I get up on Monday mornings it's over.

I went to bed an hour earlier last night than I usually do. I took my meds and they hit me like a ton of bricks earlier than they usually do. I don't think I was in bed for more than 5 minutes before I passed out. I did wake up once and the only reason I did was I was in so much pain from rolling onto my back it woke me up. It took me almost 5 minutes of maneuvering to get myself into a position that didn't hurt. Sometimes I wish I had a hand rail on the side of my bed to grab to help me roll over. I have a night stand but it's lower than the bed so it's no help.

I head up to Gardner this morning for my intake for Section 8. This is something I applied for 8 years ago before I got in here where I am. Yes it does take that long before your name comes to the top of the list. Crazy isn't it. It seems there is more of a need than there are the Section 8's. Of course if they'd weed out the people who are abusing them there would be more available. There are a lot of people out there that play the system very well. I want to get out of this place I live so badly I can taste it but I can't find a place that subsidies. The only way for me to move is to get the Section 8. So I may have to live here for another year but I hope that after that I can move where ever I want. Look out Texas here I come. (not really. I have to wait for Andrew to graduate from high school first)

My home health aide should be here any minute and today she is on a short schedule. She's supposed to be here for 3 hours but it will probably be only an hour and a half. That's because of me having to go to Gardner. I have a lot for her to get done so I hope there is time for it all. There are a lot of dishes to do and the carpets need to be vacuumed. If she gets that done as well as going to the store for butts for me I'll be happy. I know I'm not supposed to be smoking but I'm stressed so what can I say? I hope by Friday I have stopped the cigarettes again. I've been taking Chantix and I did stop smoking for almost 6 months on it. I just had a lot of things happen that stressed me and I started again. Even though smoking stresses me I still do it. The boys are all over me to stop but both of their fathers smoke. Why am I the one they get on? I have to really dig down deep and tell myself I can do it and stick with it. When I get stressed I have to find something else to do with my hands and mouth. I have tried to crochet and in the past month I've made about 125 granny squares for an afgan I want to make for my other best friend Rich. I have to get some black yarn and maybe some baby blue to go with the lilac and deep purple for it. It will give me something to do while I'm at my sister's. (I hope)

Monica, my home health aide has gone to the store so I think I'm going to try and help her out with the dishes by emptying the crock pot for her and soaking it. I know I can't wash anything but I can at least get rid of the old stuff and put away the dishes.